Sam Omer
Business 1050
Professor Edward G. Engh
My Renaissance Moment Reflection Essay
My Renaissance Moment
As I thumbed through the introduction module to Foundations of Business 1050, taught by Edward G. Engh, I found myself wondering how and why I had ended up here. The “how” question was easy enough to rationalize, but they “why” is what stuck with me throughout the semester. Asking why is an interesting and fun thought experiment. As a child I would always ask why whenever my parents required anything of me. They said “I was blessed with a curious mind.” Whether blessings are actually real or not is a different subject entirely but a curious mind is certainly an asset. Critical thinking is the main theme of this course. “The most important and highest paid skill sought in today’s business is Critical Thinking.” To me this means that asking why is the most important skill in today’s business world. “My Renaissance Moment” reflection essay is a reflection of why this course was meaningful to me and how it changed my way of thinking about my current circumstances. Specifically “Jacob Needleman, Philosopher” a chapter from A World of Ideas by Bill Moyers.
In 2016 I found myself standing on street corners of downtown Salt Lake City at two in the morning asking for money. No, I was not homeless or begging for money. I was working as a Valet parking attendant at Salt Lake area restaurants and nightclubs. I asked myself why I was doing it almost every single night. The reason almost always came back to money. Money was the sole motivating factor for standing around for eight hours in sub-freezing temperatures parking cars in the middle of January. All I could see was a green light at the end of the tunnel, the green light was the stacks of cash tips I would leave with every night. Ultimately I was unhappy and eventually saved up enough cash to quit my job for three months and pursue my passion of skiing. For those three glorious months all I did was ski and spend time with friends. Today, in my memory, I now characterize those months by a feeling of unfulfillment. At the time my mind attributed my lack of fulfillment to the fact that I wasn’t making money. I wasn’t being a good capitalist and working 60 hour weeks. Clearly, that must have been it. Eventually I landed in my current position as Operations Manager of an ecommerce company specializing in mens rings. I am much happier now than I was parking cars but that nagging feeling not making money still invades my psyche.
As I progressed through Foundations of Business 1050 and the readings included in the course my curiosity was peaked. When I read “Jacob Needleman, Philosopher” a chapter from A World of Ideas by Bill Moyers, I knew that this was the reason I had taken this course. In my current position I recently went through my own personal renaissance regarding money. My company, Element Ring Co, specializes in crafting mens rings and selling them online. The two owners of the company work full-time day jobs and leave me to run all the day to day and long term operations. This semester we launched our third Kickstarter campaign to help fund our newest product. The campaign by almost every measure was a failure. We raised enough money to meet our goal but we fell well short of our internal goals. This was our third Crowdfunding campaign and the first where the owners didn’t pay for outside help. They told me that they trusted me to run things. Well, as it turns out I did not have a handle on things like I thought I did. As I reflect on the campaign I keep saying it was a failure. My only qualifier to that statement is that I didn’t raise as much money as I wanted. I raised more than we needed and it was funded but I still can’t help but feel that I failed, because I didn’t gain more money.
Money, “We want it more than anything else,” says Jacob Needleman. In business, is that not the goal? To raise more money that anything else? In my mind it was. The key word there being was. After the Kickstarter wrapped up I went to the owners and apologized for my failure. However, they didn’t see it like that. They saw it as a success. We raised the funds we needed for materials and saw increased sales on our website with all the advertising. So, did we succeed? The answer to that question is a matter of perspective and ownership and I seemingly have differing perspectives.
I thought money was the reason to be in business. My mind was singularly focused on how to raise more money for the company. Now, not so much. I can’t help but think about how much of my mental capacities were used in thinking about money. Anytime anyone asked me about my job or how it was progressing I always danced around real numbers. I would say “were making more sales” but never a definitive number. When asked about the campaign I would say “It’s going well” but never say how much money we’d raised. I can’t help but think of Needleman saying “money is more intimate than sex.... It is the most secret, most intimate part of many people’s lives.” I dated my girlfriend for six months before she knew how much I made at work. Money was on my mind 24/7.
As I reflect on the Needleman reading and money I think about the anecdote I shared at the beginning about quitting my job to ski. Yeah I felt unfulfilled but that was because I was doing nothing but ski, party, repeat. That wasn’t a sustainable model. But it was fun, really fun. It was freeing because I didn’t care about money. I had a budget, it was easy to follow and all I had to do was make sure rent got paid and I ate a couple times a day. Looking back it really was glorious. Now I find myself trying to find my place in this modern business world and as Needleman puts it “in the midst of this world we live in, which is a world of money.”
As I continue to search for my place in this “world of money” courses like this help me very much. Reading about ancient civilizations and their cultures helps me to understand that I can be the richest man the world but eventually I’ll end up six feet under the ground in a wooden box, just like every other former rich man. At that point what worth is money to me? I’m not intending to be morbid and say “money is worthless because we all die.” That is far from what I am saying. Rather I believe that money is a means to an end. Everyone has asked themselves this question; “Why am I here?” To me the answer is simple, we are here to live. There is no real divine or existential purpose to our being on Earth. We are here simply to be here and experience this life. As I continue to search for my place in all of this I will keep this in mind. I’m here just to experience it all.